I make no resolutions
This year, I make no resolutions. Sort a….I mean, I have definite intentions. I intend to be incredibly happy. Happier than I’ve ever been, as a matter of fact. But that isn’t a ‘new year’ thing. It’s more like I just found out what makes me happy and I keep reminding myself to do it.
And, I intend to be healthy in mind and body. Which, thankfully, can be done by following the same procedure for happiness so, that works out for me. I’m a horrible mulit-tasker. I do it but then nothing gets done very well.
And it’s funny, because I never thought I’d find the way to happiness, health or anything by listening to the complaints of others…especially when they were complaining about me. But, that’s exactly what happened. The biggest complaint of those closest to me was that I wasn’t present even when I was present. Know what I mean? I was being me: a horrible multi-tasker. My body was there but my brain was elsewhere wandering through the past or worrying about the future. Once I got past the criticism, it was really quite flattering. I’m wanted here and now…in present time. Happiness. Of course, I’m still incredibly busy and find it difficult to make time for everyone. But, quality, you know? Good stuff.
Now I’m so much more aware of what I’m doing. My brain used to be on automatic. Hello. Goodbye. How are you? I’m fine. Love you. Good night. – nothing much there. My relationships were about as satisfying as fast food. They put off the hunger for a while but, empty calories,not satisfying. I was missing something good. Something really good. It was a number of things that woke me up to that. A book, a friend, a relative…a seven year old boy who won’t let me get away with anything. When I realized how much of me was on automatic my problems began to make total sense. A wise Canadian once said, ‘If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.’
(That’s right, I quoted RUSH).
This is a quarter order of nacho’s at a local restaurant. That’s right, only a fourth of the full order. Holy crap! Part of me would have loved to dig in and mindlessly munch. I mean, what’s to decide? It’s in front of me…I’m hungry…so eat! But, a bigger part of me is awake and mindful of what I’m doing, what I’m eating, thinking, feeling…etc. It no longer feels good to be automatic. So I’m not.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a diet…just an extended metaphor. If I thought I would have enjoyed eating it I would have. But, I know myself. There are things in that pile of food that I definitely do not want in my body. So, no. Not for me. If you like it, enjoy! Next round on me 🙂 This is just me taking deliberate action for myself, being present in every decision. Every day I make a decision about what I’m going to eat, who I’m going to see, what I’m going to do. Life is not a drive through. I’m sure it sounds exhausting but it’s not. It feels much more like living. And, when I coast, it’s more like flying or floating or whatever that feeling is when you don’t have to worry. I still get caught up in day to day things and I still get complaints, etc, etc. I can think of three people right now who have asked me to slow down and spend some time with them and, I promise, I’m working on it. I just want it to be real.
Candelight Coffeehouse on Wednesdays the 14th and 28th with Reza Kaleel. (San Antonio)
New single available here:
And, one more thing. I’m engaged in conversation with a couple of you about philosophy and religion. It’s been interesting but, I don’t want to argue faith or belief. If you want to know my thoughts about God, religion, etc. you can read A Course in Miracles or The Shack. Both books are very much in line with what I believe. And, if you want to know what I believe about what I believe, consider this:
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” – Shakespeare