Podcast #19 – I Won’t Be Lonely

True Story: We get the prompt “Return to Winter” and we all write a song about returning to Winter and then we get hit by another blast of Winter. So, I think we might have some super-natural powers or something. Sorry ’bout that.

This song became about my tendency to isolate myself when things aren’t quite going the way I want them to AND compulsive morbid thoughts. OCD has many manifestations. I used to be a super neat freak. Everything had to be in the order I needed it to be and anything that didn’t fit into that order would be thrown in the trash. I’m mostly cured of that part of it but, the part that creeps back in from time to time is the compulsive morbid thought part. It’s a horror film in my head. I used to take medication for this. From time to time I would burst out with “NO!” or “Lalalalala!” just to snap my brain out of it. No, seriously. I know it’s weird. And I don’t like it. It’s worse when I’m under stress so, I try not to be under stress or over think things. Like, not too long ago I was leaving Waxahachie, Texas after a wonderful time performing in The Music Room (full recording here). I had to get home in time for another show but it was crazy foggy and I freaked myself out thinking “How do you know the fog isn’t hiding something in the middle of the road? How do you know something isn’t just going to pop out in front of you?” The worst part was that there were no cars on the road. Just me for a long time so, I drove super slowly until I could convince myself that it wasn’t that bad and I would actually see something if it were there. Can you see why I like to be alone sometimes? Who wants to share the crazy? 😉  

I won’t be lonely

I can’t stand this odd return to winter
There’s only so much cold a soul can take
Guess no one told the sun, vacation’s over
Come closer to us now and everything come out
again
 
Or, I might go into hiding
Until all of this makes sense
Though it’s only temporary
I won’t be lonely
It won’t end like this
I won’t be lonely
It won’t end like this
 
Where are you now, my angels, watching over 
Can I drive through the fog in perfect faith
When it’s all that I can do to keep composure
Just remind myself that there’s nothing else
in the way
 
Or, I might go into hiding
Until all of this makes sense
Though it’s only temporary
I won’t be lonely
It won’t end like this
I won’t be lonely
It won’t end like this  
 
Keep my head and heart inside the window
Keep my tired eyes upon the road
Keep and hold me tight
With warm and guiding light
Lead me through the night
Until I’m home
 
©LauraMarieMusic 2014

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